Personal Development Risk Management: 5 Simple Personal Development Tips

We’ve all heard the age-old saying, “until something changes, nothing changes”. One of my counselors, Ms. Anne, used to tell us repeatedly that “until the pain of changing becomes greater than the pain of remaining the same, nothing changes.” Usually it takes coming to grips with the stark reality of our present, most often in the form of some kind of crisis, for us to want to make positive changes regarding the people, places and things with which we interact most often. Instead of reacting to crises, we can be proactive and intentional in our approach, employing what I’d like to call Personal Development Risk Management, to alleviate and avoid unnecessary moments of crisis and promote emotionally healthy, stress-free living.

Here are 5 easy personal development risk management tips to help you de-stress your day-to-day life:

1: Shut down the drama in your life because it’s unhealthy. Arguing and fighting creates dis-ease.

This does not equate being a doormat. It means knowing your worth and knowing when to let the frivolous and counterproductive go. You are not required to attend every single argument to which you are invited. Stay away from gossip, negativity and people who are chronic complainers as these behaviors have a negative impact on your general health and your mental and emotional well-being.

Action: Train your mind to see the good in others, and to find opportunity where there appears to be obstacles. Don’t entertain unnecessary drama, whether it is self-generated, or brought to you by others.

2: Stay away from negative, selfish, energy-draining relationships that do not honor you, or even worse, use you, abuse you and take advantage of your kindness.

No one is asking you to be a martyr. Don’t buy into anyone’s negativity or guilt trips. If you know your own worth, it will be difficult for others to manipulate you into doing and being things you don’t want to do or be.

Action: Honor your “no”. Your “no” comes from a place that is just as sacred as your “yes”. Respect yourself enough to learn how to say “no” without feeling guilty for having done so.

serenity and yoga; practicing at sunset, meditation

3: Don’t attempt to change others.

There’s enough work to do on yourself. Develop relationships where all parties can grow. Ask yourself, what is it about this person/situation that’s bothering me so much? Often, the answer is within ourselves, not the other person. That person is getting under your skin because you have violated your own sense of morality or self-respect about the situation.

Action:  Ask yourself: Am I acting out of ego or love? Always choose love.

4: Create an atmosphere of mutual respect, love and appreciation.

Be mindful of your relationships and how you treat others. Free yourself from inner chaos by meditation, relaxation, and stillness. Keep lines of communication open and honest.

Action: Ask yourself: How am I called to be of service today? Then, look for opportunities to be of loving service to others.

5: Create a sanctuary where you can live in peace, relax your mind, revive your spirit and renew your purpose.

What you create inside of yourself will manifest outside yourself. Create a physical space that supports your mission of living a stress-free, peaceful life. Your home should be a place of relaxation and peace, not clutter and chaos.

Action: As you strive for inner clarity by developing rituals and being mindful of your relationships, work on bringing organization and beauty to your home.

Photo credit: google images

//

thoughts of a goddess: Into The New

What is the song of your heart telling you? There is no option but to listen to, and act on its loving guidance now.

Anything you do now that is not aligned with your truth will backfire. This is how attuned your energy is becoming.

You’re not here to deny who you are. You’re here to love who you are. Anyone who really loves you, will love the truth of you – and the reality is that if they don’t like your truth, it may be time for you to walk away.

Beloved, feel the surge of your heart as it attunes you to the divine wisdom of this eclipse gateway – and have the courage to act on its messages.

Lovingly written by Sophie Bashford; read full article here: Sophie Bashord on facebook

Edited by Asa-Mari Jones

Artwork by Isabel Bryna, etsy.com

//

Lessons From The Lighthouse

Have you watched the movie Life Of Pi, or read the book written by Yann Martel? I have, and I was blown away by the various lessons contained therein.

I’m such a nerd- I actually sat down one night (after having watched it five times already, once while sobbing into a towel!) with a notepad and pencil, a glass of wine, and wrote these lessons down as they came to me while watching the movie. I must add here that if you haven’t read the book, please do! It isn’t often that movie-makers are able to translate the essence of a book onto the big screen. This is one of those rare instances where they absolutely nailed it! I was pleasantly surprised to find that reading the book after I’d seen the movie helped to clear up the questions I’d had from watching the film. Yann Martel tells this harrowing tail of shipwreck and spiritual meandering in a wonderfully comedic way that pulls you into the story and leaves you spellbound.

I’ve decided to call this series Lessons From The Lighthouse, in homage to the imagery found in the film, Life Of Pi. These lessons have served as an inspiration to me in my personal growth and development in the past year and half, and now, I’m sharing them with you. I hope that they are instrumental in helping you find your inner ability to create miracles in your own life. New lessons are posted every Wednesday. Feel free to like, re-blog and share! If you have any questions or comments, please leave me a message in the comments below.

Do you have a suggestion for a good movie/book that can be developed into a Personal Development series? Let me know- I’d be happy to give it a look!

To find the entire series, click here.

Light & Love!

Asa-Mari

thoughts of a goddess- New Moon Blessings

At this New Moon, take the time to make personal inventory.

Be honest with yourself- what habits, relationships, and stressful behaviors are holding you back from being the best version of you right now?

Think back to the last conflict you experienced. How would the BEST version of you handle it?

Write those things down. They are worth remembering and working on everyday until you achieve them.

Make your intentions to the universe clear; know who you are and who you will be.

Get rid of the old- the things (items, ideas, relationships) that no longer serve us.

Release them with gratitude for their service.

Speak forth your future knowing that you deserve nothing but the best, and that the universe is collaborating with you to see these things come to pass.

If you are tired, allow yourself the gift of rest.

If you have an idea that the world needs to hear, now is the time to share it.

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone. Challenge yourself to stretch and grow, to experience life above and beyond your wildest dreams and beliefs.

You are blessed.

You are the not a drop in the ocean; you are the ocean in a drop.

You are greatness.

You are divine.

The Awakening Of The Divine Woman

She’s coming into her power.

She spent years not realizing who she was.
She doubted her beauty, her intelligence and her power.
She was one who always felt that she didn’t quite belong
because when she came into this life, her ties to the world of spirit remained far too strong..

She was confused and lost throughout her youth, unable to see herself much less accept and appreciate herself.
As a result she was like a ship bobbing in the ocean without a rudder and without the sails of confidence to direct her towards her own promised land.

She was one who bereft of her own acceptance, hungered for it and searched for it through relationships with others.
She was a people pleaser as a result,
she would not risk confrontation in order to support herself,
she succumbed to being influenced by the opinions of others even though she had already received her instruction from within.
She allowed her truth to be sublimated,
she allowed herself to be controlled.
Her need to be accepted and loved was such that she wasn’t prepared to step on or over any toes.

It took her years of being taken for granted,
ruled and overlooked before she put two and two together,
had enough and got the message.
Her suffering forced her to step out of the status quo that had always been too tight for her in the first place…
she became an avid seeker, searching for answers…
She needed to know who she was, she needed to know why she was here.
She needed to find a way to free herself from fear

She traveled far and wide,
She sat at the feet of a master,
She became a Yogini of an ancient lineage
and applied the teachings to her life,
She grew strong,
She awakened her heart
She awakened her shakti,
Her third eye opened as a result;
Her potentials started to be unearthed rapidly because the veils had parted and she recognized who she was,
She also recognized who everyone else was behind their socialized facade
and because she had seen through the myth of idealized perfection,
she could appreciate the actual perfection of the imperfections in herself and in others that she had once resisted and rejected.

Today she walks with conscious awareness;
she no longer labels people as good or bad,
She interprets everything as fluctuating energy without a fixed assignment.
She holds space for the confusion of others because she’s been there and she still visits that place herself
she understands their hunger for love misappropriated as selfishness, jealousy and competition.
She feels their vulnerability as she feels her own;
She knows the fear reflected in their eyes through her own past terror
But underneath all of it she can see the obscured light,
the presence of God/dess despite all the protective armor.
She’s aware of this same divine presence vibrating in her body and in her heart;
She’s not so quick to cast judgment anymore because she knows that she is not above those that she is tempted to judge…
she knows that she is not separate
And because she gives herself permission to be herself as she is,
she can accept others as they are with appreciation and compassion.

She’s not invested in changing anyone either,
she respects everyone’s chosen path because
she understands that every soul is doing exactly what they need to do in order to evolve
So it is not her place to save anyone from their own lessons.
She reveals, heals, inspires and encourages instead,
she reminds others of their forgotten divinity;
She holds up a mirror so that they can see God/dess reflected back.
She has become a midwife for the re-emergence of the Divine Feminine soul.

The shy, timid maiden has transformed into the courageous, outspoken mother of all.
She says it as she sees it confidently without shrinking back,
She’s fiercely protective of the helpless,
She’s A torch for those lost in darkness,
and she’s not afraid to take a stand for peace and love to flourish in this world;
if someone tries to persuade her against her own knowing she simply and graciously responds, “Thank you for sharing.”
and she walks away-
Because she trusts her “self”,
She knows that she is Divine Mother embodied.

She is Artemis of the wild merged with
compassionate Tara and warrior Durga;
She has traversed the journey of Inanna into the dark underworld and emerged in possession of her kingdom
She knows why she is here and she’s fulfilling her purpose.
She’s not alone, she’s among many
who have chosen to return bearing love as their message,
their path and their gift of healing. ॐ

© Caroline de Lisser
https://www.facebook.com/SourceOfTheEarth

Courtesy: Sageword

Put Your Boobs Away, Ladies! Here are 4 Reasons Women Should NOT Breastfeed In Public:

I know, right? It was too good to not share! Thanks Mother & Baby Magazine (Australia)! 

The Importance Of Rest

One of the good things about having hypothyroidism and crashed adrenals as a result of autoimmune disorder is I have learned the importance of rest. Before now, rest meant nothing to me. Naps were for toddlers, the elderly and losers. I would push myself to the absolute limit and beyond, and quip that “I’ll rest when I’m dead!”. Busy-ness was my badge of honor. I prided myself on how little sleep I needed, how fast, strong, smart and capable I was. Regardless the circumstances, I would always manage to land on my feet.

This time, life had it in for me. I landed on my back, in bed, unable to get up. For two months with limited mobility, I lay there, crying, anxious, berating myself for my inability to be (what I considered ) “normal”. Why didn’t I feel well? Why as I so weak? Why was I so useless? The rent was paid and there was food in the cupboards, but I chose instead to focus on the sink filled with dishes and the piles of laundry on the floor. My children were both well cared for despite my illness, and in turn were very loving and forgiving toward me when I could not get up and cook their favorite meals, or go outside like they wanted me to, but I chose to be unforgiving toward myself. It took four agonizing months for me to realize all I needed to do to heal myself was to let it all go and rest.

sab·bath |ˈsabəTH/ 

Old English, from Latin sabbatum, via Greek from Hebrew šabbāṯ, from šāḇaṯ ‘to rest.’

The thing about this world is that we glorify busy-ness. 

Everyone’s read the humble-brag facebook posts about how busy everyone is and how many hours of work they’ve put in and how little they’ve slept and how much coffee they’ve drank and just how successful they feel they are going to be.

We are told that rest is for the weak; sleep is for the lazy. We are taught to keep late nights and force early mornings, encouraged to endure long work days fueled by carbohydrates and caffeine, in the promise that success as defined by the masses will be waiting for us.

As a result, we often neglect our health, relationships, families, and live at such a pace that by the time we have amassed the wealth and lifestyles we have spent our entire lives chasing, we lack the vitality to enjoy it. Being ill this time around really was an eye opener for me. I could no longer live a life fueled by unhealthy stress. I would no longer drive the struggle bus. For all my hard work, I was no longer strong. I could feel myself losing muscle tone. Even though I slept 12 hours everyday, I would wake up exhausted and weak. Everything had to change.

The thing about illness and dis-ease is that it is most usually cured by rest.

I hired a Life Coach, because I knew I could no longer afford to struggle alone. After consulting with my doctors and joining a few support groups, I changed my diet- no more caffeine, no more gluten. Most importantly, I changed the course of my life, the direction of my thoughts, desires and outcomes. In time, I learned to let go of the ideas of things like “fear”, “struggle” and “failure”, and began to trust that the universe was, at all times, collaborating with me to create the reality I believe I will have. Finally realizing that I have the permission of the universe to succeed, I decided to rest. I released my worries and fears and decided that I was going to believe that I was taken care of. Slowly, I began to see a change in my physical and mental health.

Today, I am a much more relaxed, happier version of myself. My confidence is growing and I am able to get out and exercise- not a whole lot, but enough to keep me moving and pain free. I pay attention to my nutrition, and listen to my body. I take naps, happily! I make sure to get enough sleep- 12 hours a night most nights, but never fewer than five hours. I respect my body and its limits, and understand that quality sleep is an important part of self-love and self-care.

I have let go of fear. Today, Love is my source. I try my best to be aware of when I am making decisions out of fear, and choose instead to make decisions out of gratitude and love. The sum total of these actions help me to remain in a calm, joyful, worry-free, drama-free state where “rest” is my main goal. I still have a ways to go to get back to baseline where my physical health is concerned, but for now, I am grateful for the lessons learned.

Relevant Reading:

11 Surprising Health Benefits of Sleep

Why sleep is important and what happens when you don’t get enough

Why Is Sleep Important

thoughts of a goddess- Self Healing

Healing will come from a much deeper self love and appreciation. It will require you to forgive everything that keeps you connected to your past pain.

To forgive does not mean to forget. 

It means to take your power back and release emotional bonds that drain you of your vitality. Healing will come when you start appreciating yourself.

You are enough. You are perfect.

 Stop comparing yourself to others. Competition drains an incredible amount of energy which can be used for healing.

You are not a failure.

Stop complaining. Stop gossiping.

Healing will take your full emotional investment. Release any activity that keeps you in a negative state. Instead, clear your thinking and allow only loving thoughts to enter your mind. Speak of and to yourself with utmost kindness and love. Healing will happen spontaneously.

Original words by Josie Grouse. Find Josie on facebook, twitter, instagram, and youtube.

Storm Management: Relax. Be Still.

“If you will be still during the storm, you will find the strength to ride out the storm.”

Be Still.

Relax.

Those are were my least favorite words. I wasn’t born to be still. I like to be in motion, constantly doing something. Even when I’m sitting still, I have to be doing something. It doesn’t matter what- doodling, humming, playing with my phone- so long as I’m moving. I’d prefer to walk a few blocks between subway stations than stand still and wait for the train. So when the storms of life are blowing all around me, the last thing I want to do is be still.

My best friend usually would drive me insane by telling me to “relax”. My question always was, “How could you relax? Can’t you see everything is falling to pieces? Why aren’t you doing something????” During times of distress I always felt that it was my obligation to do something even if that something was only worry. It was no surprise then that I became an adult with depression and anxiety issues. I’d trained myself to be an obsessive worrier, always anxious, always calculating, always concerned, hyper-vigilant, high strung, very intense. In some areas of my life that turned out to be a strength of mine- I am very analytical with keen clinical judgement, and prefer to err on the side of caution when it comes to dealing with my clients and their day-to-day affairs and mental health. On a personal note, however, I was constantly stressed out, and stressed out the people around me, pushed people away and was constantly living in a state of near crisis.

There’s a saying that goes something like, “Worry is like a rocking chair. There’s lots’ of motion but you’re going nowhere.” That was me. Lots of motion, but going nowhere. And then my friend would say, “Relax”, and I would pitch an even bigger fit. I couldn’t relax. I just wouldn’t.

During the storm, Pi reaches a moment of understanding in the middle of the second storm when the sees how his reaction to the storm is affecting Richard Parker. After having tried to remove the canvas covering to expose Richard to the awe and might of god, he realizes that Richard is terrified, and seeks cover with him beneath the canvas instead. There, they both lie in wait for the storm to pass, and though the wait is rough, as they are tossed back and forth like rag-dolls, they ultimately are kept safe within the confines of the lifeboat and live to fight another day. While looking at this, I wonder how much easier this transition may have been for them both if Pi had sought this action first, covering the boat and lashing it down securely, and lying still beneath the shelter of the canvas for the duration of the storm, instead of allowing the boat to take on water and scaring the tiger half to death before realizing that he’d already had what he needed to be safe and that all that was required of him in this moment was for him to be still? 

And so it is with us during times of chaos and trial in our lives. So many times we use up all our energy in the midst of a storm fighting, cussing, crying, blaming, using up all our resources looking for other resources, or trying to get other people to take responsibility for our storm for us thinking that these things will make the storm go away when in truth, all we need to see is that everything we need has already been given to us, and that we already have what it takes to withstand the storm, and to come out stronger than ever, if we would just be still. If we would just…

…relax.

“Relax”, I have come to learn, doesn’t mean “forget” or ‘let go”; it doesn’t mean “be lazy” or “neglect your responsibility”. It certainly doesn’t mean “I don’t care”. Relax in this context means “allow”. Allow the storm. Just allow it. See it, notice it, adjust your sails, lash your boat down, then be still and allow it in full faith that you will come out on the other side and you will be fine. Not only fine, but you will be better than you were before. The storms of life are meant to strengthen us, to show us things inside and around us that we hadn’t noticed before, to awaken the skills that are dormant within us so that we can persevere through the next thing. If we’re busy flailing and screaming and fighting the universe, we are not receiving the lessons we are being taught and the gifts we are being given.

If we are rejecting the universe, we will manifest lack.

If we are operating out of fear, we will generate struggle.

 BUT, if we allow it, if we operate out of faith knowing that the universe is collaborating with us for our highest good, even in the midst of the storm, we will find the strength to ride out the storm.This takes a certain amount of personal discipline to develop, but over time, if we will practice being still we will find that we are able to weather the storms of life with better and better outcomes. This is the secret to success. Successful people aren’t people who have never encountered personal storms, but those who found the inner strength to withstand multiple storms, and have come out on the other side stronger, faster, healthier, wiser, better than they were before.

 

Do you believe the universe is working with you to bring your dreams to pass?

it’s not enough to have faith when the sun shines, only to abandon all hope when the storm clouds roll in! The way we demonstrate that we believe what we say we believe is by learning to be still. This means no worrying- no complaining, no going out of our way to find solutions by resorting to actions that violate our personal sense of integrity. Of course we remain diligent and work toward an end by doing what we said we would do- we get up and go to work every day, we care for our families and loved ones, we continue to take steps toward self-care. We listen to our intuition and remain faithful to the call we have accepted in our lives. And we allow the storm to pass- no push back, no struggle, no fear. Because we KNOW that the universe has our best interest at heart; we know that we will be taken care of. And it is this kind of faith, and this ability to rest that will take us through to the other side.

How do you practice being still?

I meditate every morning before I get out of bed to make sure that my thoughts for the day are aligned with an attitude of faith and strength. I am mindful of my thoughts during the day and when I find myself becoming anxious or using language that is not reflective of a relaxed, faithful attitude, I adjust my speech and remind myself that the universe is working in my favor. I stay away from people, places and things that are negative or that influence me to think negatively. I inspire myself to remain excited about my future despite the way things may seem in the present. I no longer allow myself to worry or be anxious about circumstances and situations over which I have no control.

If you struggle with depression or anxiety, talk with someone about ways to manage it. Try any of the things listed above and let me know if it works for you. If you do something different, I’d love to know about it- I’m always looking for new ways to try to keep myself on track. Let’s trade notes. 🙂

Relax and Be Still.

The Path Less Traveled Series- Danielle Gray: The Style & Beauty Doctor

The Path Less Traveled, is a YouTube series hosted by Neffy Anderson. Inspired by her own journey to carve out a niche for herself in the journalism and broadcasting world, Neffy launched her own YouTube series, chronicling the remarkable work of millennials who have all chosen to pursue their life’s passions and turn their personal gifts and talents into lucrative businesses. Every week, Neffy puts her stellar networking and interviewing skills to work to capture the lives of these diligent and talented individuals- and she does it in style!

You can find The Path Less Traveled on youtube- there are new episodes up every other Sunday at 11AM EST, and follow the series on twitter using the hashtag #TPLTSeries.

As an aspiring entrepreneur, I’m fascinated with these stories- and with Neffy! It takes a certain type of inner strength to wake up and say to one’s self, “I’m going to pursue my dreams, no matter what it takes”, and then go out there and do it and not give up even when the whole world says you should. These videos serve as inspiration and first hand testimonies that we live in a time when most anything is possible if you have a dream, a plan, and an indomitable will to succeed.

I chose to start out showcasing this series with Neffy’s interview with The Style & Beauty Doctor, Danielle Gray. Danielle is 33 years old, and is a New York City based Fashion and Beauty Consultant and freelance writer.

In this 32 minute interview, Danielle covers the details of her humble beginnings as a style and fashion blogger, making the transition from ten years of working in the finance industry to branching out on her own and building her successful brand. She speaks passionately about what she experienced as “personal lows” to “what she defines as success”. Danielle’s authenticity and Neffy’s engaging interviewing style makes for an excellent study, which leaves viewers with this piece of valuable truth:

“Be your own version of what you find is beautiful”

Be sure to catch the full length video on the Neffy Anderson Channel on youtube (click subscribe, y’all!), and find Neffy Anderson on facebook 

Catch up with Danielle on her blog, The Style & Beauty Doctor, on facebook and instagram @stylenbeautydoc.