Love Thyself. Because Self Love is the Best Love.

This infographic landed in my facebook timeline and I couldn’t help but share it everywhere possible. It goes without saying, if you can’t love yourself, who can you love? I’ve heard so many confessions over the past week; absolutely wonderful, hard working, high achieving individuals who have a difficult time accepting themselves as they are, and who make daily habits of being hard on themselves to the point of depression.

Maybe it is an indicator of how our society measures “success”, and that hunger to succeed that drives us to self-loathing. At some point it should dawn on us that it is our personal responsibility to learn to be kind to ourselves first.

Appreciation of self and love for self translates into appreciation for and love for the “other”. The directive to “love they neighbor as thyself” hinges on the premise that one loves one’s self. I’m always wary of people who claim to love others but who have no concept of self love. How can you give what you do not have? Maya Angelou said it best when she said,

“I don’t trust people who don’t love themselves and tell me, ‘I love you.’ … There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.”

We owe it to ourselves to learn to love ourselves- truly love ourselves, accepting our “flaws” and our strengths. It is only in so doing that we can ever truly love another. And I should know. I’ve been there too.

I hope you enjoy this infographic as much as I did. Make a mental note on what you can do, what you already do and things you really want to start doing, like, right now. I promise you, you will feel better!

I love you. You should love you too! ❤

10 Things I Learned About Friendship

This article was featured in its entirety in elephant journal at http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/03/10-things-ive-learned-about-friendship/ 

Over the past year or so changes in my life have caused me to take a good look at the people I consider friends. Growing up, my parents dispensed a lot of advice about friends and friendship- some good, some not-so-great- but as I grew older I realized I had to be smarter about my choices. I needed to make my own rules. Not everyone who smiles with you is your friend; not everyone who seems mean to you is your enemy either. People who mean so much to you one day may not mean so much a year or two out. Be that as it may, I still have some very good people in my life who confirm to me not only that I have good friends, but that I know how to be a good friend.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

1: Your friends celebrate with you when you are happy. They don’t look for ways to diminish your happiness, even when they are not happy themselves.

2: Your friends cry with you when you are sad. They don’t downplay your grief as though it were insignificant, even if they believe differently.

3: Your friends will call you out on your bullshit. They will be the first ones to tell you when you are being an idiot, when you are being petty or rude, when you are being a moron or a jackass. Your friends are not “yes” people. Your friends help to keep you in line with the truth of who you really are.

4: In the dark times of your life your friends will find you and turn the light on. Your friends don’t add to the drama and insanity by punishing you with insensitivity.

5: Your friends learn your song and will sing it back to you when you’ve forgotten the words. There will be times when you feel so lost, like you’ve forgotten who you are. There are people who know you inside and out who will be happy to remind you because they love you. These are your friends.

6: Your friends will take great lengths to understand your quirks, your flaws, likes and dislikes. They will not judge you. They will love you just as you are and will not try to change you.

7: You know your friends because they are the ones who help you to be a better person just by virtue of who they are and by their presence in your life, whether you talk to them every day or once every seven years.

8: Facebook may say you have over 100 friends. In real life, you only have seven, plus or minus two. Of those seven, only three are in your inner circle, and there is only one person whom you will call at 3 a.m. when you cannot sleep. Understand those numbers. The entire world cannot fit in your front row, nor should it.

9: As you get older, your friends will change because your needs and wants will change. Your true friends will understand that and be okay with it.

10: Friendship, like love, is a form of energy. It can neither be created nor destroyed; it simply transfers from one state to the next. Cherish your friendships and pay attention to them. They are important in navigating the seas of life. In order to have good friends, you must practice being a good friend.

What are your friendship rules? Share in the comments! I’d love hear about your friendship experiences.

Asa-Mari

The Object Of His Affection

For the LORD’s portion is his people, Jacob his allotted inheritance…he guarded him as the apple of his eye, like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its young, that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them on its pinions.” (Deuteronomy 32:9-11)

Moses gathered the people before they entered the Promised Land, and reminded them of who God was. Their God, El Shaddai, the Self-Sufficient one, had rescued them, fed them, sheltered them, and loved them, even as He had loved their ancestors, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Their God, Yahweh, had proven to them over and over that He was The Faithful One. The One who created the universe and all that is in it had bent down to touch their faces, several times; He’d heard their cries and wiped their tears. Moses gathered the people to remind them of just how special they were to God’s heart. They, like us, were the apple of God’s eye.

Imagine what this world would be like if everyone understood just how important we are to God; that in His eyes, we are all, individually, most loved and cared for? My friend, we are not just happen-stances of creation. We were created for a purpose. And in that purpose, God loves us dearly. God’s Word tells us that not even a sparrow, whose life is worth less than a penny falls from the heavens without God knowing. How much more so is our life worth to Him who created it all? Even the hairs on your head are all numbered! (Paraphrased, Matthew 10: 29-30)

          My encouragement to you is to stand firm in the knowledge that God loves you above all. When life seems to be getting you down and things just don’t seem to be working out, know above all that YOU ARE THE APPLE OF GOD’S EYE. He would never lead you to harm, or leave you undone. Things might seem to be going slowly, or not going your way at all, but always remember:

He is the God that rescued His people out of years of bondage and led them into the Promised Land.

He is the God who sent His only begotten Son to bear the weight of your sins on the Cross so that you can be in communion with Him.

He is the God who has extended His arm repeatedly over the course of your life to save you and to keep you out of harms way.

He’s heard your cry, He knows your pain, and He has always provided exactly what you need, when you need it.

God loves you dearly. You, my friend, are THE OBJECT OF HIS AFFECTION.

 

When we understand exactly how intimately God loves us, our actions and reactions to life circumstances begin to change. We are no longer depressed and discouraged about the state of affairs. Our outlook becomes hopeful and peaceful as we press on to the victory that lies ahead.