Dear Future Husband, What Is Love?

Today someone said “Focus on the things that are within your control” and again someone said “There comes a time where you will have to learn patience.”

Got me thinking. What was I waiting for from you that I didn’t already have in my life?

What was the main focus on you appearing into my life that was so important to me?

The answer is your love.

I am surrounded by love all the time, but somehow I have only held on the picture of love to be romance instead of everlastingI looked forward to seeing it, feeling it and hearing it from you. I’ve now come to know that love is not packaged or categorized but lives within us and around us. I see love every day, I feel love every moment and I hear it every second. However, I happened to overlooked that, even though I knew it, in waiting for you and being focused on how I’d know you love me, see how you love me, feel and hear your love. I played the scenes back and forth in my mind- how I would love you, show you love and make you feel loved by me. The funny thing is I don’t even know you yet, but somehow I just know that love would bring us together.

So I asked myself- what is your version of love? Not what others have told me love is or what it looks, feels and sounds like.


I don’t know what love is.

For me to figure it out I had to go back to God and asked Him about love.

“Oh Beloved Father, please reveal to me what love is. Please show me what love looks like, feels like and sounds like. Please help me understand the truth about love and what it is that makes it so important to us. Teach me how to love myself so I can love You back and love others as I love myself.

He has sent me back to 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8. This verse I have read over many times and seemed to have not understood it well. As I am reading the verse over again it hits me that I have no control over love, how it feels, looks and sounds. It may live within me and around me, but it’s an on-going thing.

Verse 8 says, “Love never ends”. Verse 4 says, “love is patient”. Love may be what brings us together, but our interpretations may be different. The lesson here is I have no control of what brings us together, but who does?

God is love. He is everlasting. He is patient. He is kind. He has been waiting for me just like I have been waiting for you. It’s about time I pursued Him and His love. His love will bring us together and that will be because you have been pursuing Him too. I will soon discover the love I have been waiting for.

This is one thing that is within my control, to know what love is.

Your beloved,


#DearFutureHusband notes started last year (2014) as love notes to my Future Husband.  God has not brought him my way yet, but I am still believing in Him for my gift.  Putting the notes on social media was a way of hopefully grabbing his attention. I was basically making conversation and in doing so, inspiring other women to empower and encourage their Future Husbands before meeting them, to see the good in a man and want the best for him.  It later became a platform to inspire and encourage Future Husbands and already Husbands to be the best they can be. Some of the posts are personal and for my #DearFutureHusband and some are for #DearFutureHusbands and Husbands out there.

About The Author: 

10428640_10205536827637733_491797516647396958_nHarmony Zenande Botya is an inspirational writer from Western Cape, South Africa. She is a first year student at The Aleit Academy and aspiring Events Coordinator. She loves good books, good food, good music and being surround by people with good conversation and energy. One other thing she loves is sending words of love, encouragement and empowerment to others. Says Harmony, “God is my first and last love, desire and focus.  I am who I am today because of His love, grace and blessings.”

(Author’s photo used with author’s permission)

Editor: Asa-Mari Thompson 

Photo credit: google images

Love Conquers All


They spent all night in each other’s arms, talking, laughing, pontificating, snoring, cuddling.

By the time the sun came up, she realized what a fool she’d been. She’d spent all this time broken and angry- so broken and angry that she couldn’t see the good in what was being given to her. She’d instead projected all her pain upon him, labelled and judged him and blamed him for things that were not his fault. And through it all, he still chose to love her the best he could, the best she would let him, even though he knew she couldn’t see it.

The morning sun’s rays cracked through the dark as she lay her head on his chest and broke into sobs, tears running across his skin and onto his sheets. He already knew she was “crazy”, and he didn’t mind. This may have sealed the deal. This time she wasn’t crying because of him. She was crying because of herself.

We are all love.

One of the things I miss the most from growing up in the 90’s is listening to the “Quiet Storm” music segment on the radio on Sunday evenings. The DJ’s would break out all the love songs and host shout-outs to all the couples- those who wanted to brag about how much they loved each other, and occasionally the ones who wanted (needed?) to apologize and make up.


I grew up with a very romanticized idea of love and relationships. There are moments where I think life has all but knocked those notions out of me, and then there are days like today when I think of how wonderful it was (and still is) to see life through those eyes…believing that anything is possible, and that love is the most wonderful feeling in the human experience.

But more than wanting another human being to love me, or longing for someone to love, I’ve since learned how important it is that I learn to love myself. It is impossible to love others if I do not love myself. If I cannot see the good in myself then I cannot see the good in anyone else- how, then, can I possibly love them?

Love is all around us, folks. We are all love. We are all iterations of the same divine breath. The same spirit that flows through me flows through you, and so it is with every sentient being on this earth. Loving myself does not mean annihilating (what is perceived as) the negative and embellishing (what is perceived as) the positive. It means acknowledging the negative and focusing on the positive. It means knowing who I am- strengths and weaknesses- and accepting myself for exactly who I am. Only then can I see others for who they are and accept them, flaws and all.

#‎Love‬‪#‎SelfLove‬ ‪#‎Eros‬ ‪#‎Agape‬ ‪#‎Philios‬ ‪#‎LetUsSteadfastlyLoveOneAnother‬‪#‎WO2H2O‬

Hope you have a wonderful Sunday night!
Light & Love